Amber R. Polk

Diva’s Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse
(While still looking good!)


1. Are you being hunted in the wilderness? Try a mud mask.  Not only will you blend in with your surroundings, you’ll also be saving your skin! Mud masks tighten skin and reduce fine lines!  Don’t let those hours hiding in a ditch go to waste.

2.  Studded bracelets are a fabulous fashion statement, but that’s not all!  Use those studs to tenderize meat or stab an assailant. Talk about multitasking!

3.  Who doesn’t need hairspray to help add some much needed texture to their hair?  While protecting those luscious locks, remember aerosol is flammable. Add a lighter and you have yourself a handy dandy flamethrower!

4.  No electricity?  No problem!  Don’t let end of the life as you know it keep you from having those curls! Make use of the hundreds of cans you’ve been eating out of!  Just open both sides, rinse out, and toss over a covered fire  .Once they are warm, rolling sections of hair, and secure with bobby pins! Walla!

5.  Speaking of bobby pins.  Not only do they help you achieve a badass updo, they can also be used to hold together a broken belt and unlock doors!

6.  Tried of getting chipped nails while dodging bullets?  Next time you steal that egg from your neighbors’ chicken coop, don’t toss that shell!  Crush the shell into a powder and add a little to your nail polish for stronger nails!

7.  Are your eyebrows coming together while your world is falling apart?  No one wants a unibrow!  Honey and sugar aren’t just to sweeten your tea, sweeten your life when you mix them together and you have yourself a wax!

8.  Too bad the apocalypse didn’t stop PMS, but since you still have to lug around a purse to carry those tampons, here’s a list of fun things you can do with them while looting for that candy bar!  1. Plug a bullet hole.  2. Start a fire.  3. Water filter.  4. A glass bottle with some alcohol (take a few swigs first), plug with the tampon, and you have a Molotov cocktail!

*DISCLAIMER.  This list was made for reading entertainment only.  Please do not take anything I have said as fact.  Please do not try at home or anywhere for that matter.